Well Done. No, Really… Well Dumb You Celebrities


All he needed was a treatment for Malaria, but he gave it to a bunch of ungrateful celebs who moaned their way around his country and then went home to their overpaid jobs.

The hour of BBC television I’ve just sat through was not so much Comic Relief as it was FUCKING ANNOYING.

Ferne Cotton looked like a pastey ghost as she vomited her way up Killimanjaro. Gary ‘Backache’ Barlow hobbled up like a old man, Cheryl Cole acted like a whingey 5 year old, nearly breaking into tears at the site of some ants on the ground followed by Alicia Dixon who cackled her way up making sure she looked the part decorated with accessories from New Look. Oh, and there was Ronan Keating – he’s just a bit ginger in his old age.

This whole concept of ‘Wow, I really fancy climbing Mt Killimanjaro, I know I’ll get the the mugs of the UK to pay for it, because c’mon everyone – IT’S FOR CHARITY’ really makes me cross. Hang on.. you want me to ‘sponsor’ you to basically pay for you to have an amazing experience and then watch you moan your way through it. I sponsor people for making a sacrifice, for putting their own money, time, elbow grease into something remarkable. I see these trips in my running magazines all the time ‘Sponsored Run the Inca Trail’ and ‘Cycle the Great Wall of China’ to make money for Cancer victims… such a farce – what happend to people paying for their own holidays?

There were about 400 people following these celebrity fuckwits up that mountain. When we take into consideration those celebrities, their kit, their flights, the carbon footprint, their tents, the training, the extra food and the total entourage they had to accompany them to tote their bags, cuddle them when they felt sick, spoon feed them when they cried and probably wipe their asses and use all the medication they required – HOW MUCH DID THIS ALL COST? Each one of those celebs who did the walk had about 5 people to support them. It wasn’t so much a climb as it was a bloody stroll in the park. When you looked past them in their wooly hats, puffer jackets, thermal trousers, boots and crampons you saw the rest of the 100 or so locals who’d turned up to slave away behind the pathetic bunch, wearing nothing more than jeans and trainers. Kind of minimised the magnitude.

The only ones who did the whole thing any justice at all were Ben, Kimberly and Denise Van Outen. Of course a side benefit of the whole thing is that Chris Moyles seems to have turned himself into the size of one person instead of two. I’d like to say he didn’t whinge but I think he spent most of the time so out of breath enough that he couldn’t open that annoying pie hole to moan. When he did catch his breath he managed to grumble about wanting to be off the mountain.

What a disappointing hyped up load of crap. I’m glad they made money doing it but I’d really like to know how the profit for charity balances out after all is said and paid for. And I’d like to know what their view is on the Anti-Malarial medications they’ll all have been vacinated with for the trip to go and visit those dying kids in hospital who weren’t fortunate enough to have it.



  1. Ray Tsang said

    Dear Sir/Madam,

    New Senior Secondary Mastering Biology

    In order to enhance students knowledge in the concepts of biology, I am writing to request permission to reproduce a picture from Heaven’s Family, in the Chinese and English editions of the captioned titles.

    The detail of picture is as below:

    Title: Malaria patient


    The details of the books are as follows:
    Title: New Senior Secondary Mastering Biology Practical Workbook for SBA
    Authors: H.W. Yung, K.M. Ho, Y.K. Ho, K.H. Tam, L.P. Tong
    Publication date: July 2010
    Target users: Secondary 4-6 students in Hong Kong

    As we do not have good quality photo of the listed title, would you mind also providing high resolution photo for the above title? Should you have any queries, please feel free to contact us.

    Thank you very much for your kind attention. I am looking forward to your favorable reply soon.

    Yours sincerely,

    Ray Tsang
    Editorial Assistant
    Science Editorial
    Oxford University Press
    Address: 18th Floor, Warwick House East, Taikoo Place, 979 King’s Road, Quarry Bay, Hong Kong
    Tel: (852) 2516 3202
    e-mail: ray.tsang@oup.com

  2. Anonymous said

    how can yall be so nasty i MEAN WOW

    • Foxsden said

      I find it nasty to get immunized with a vacination to go to a country who can not afford that immunization in the name of ‘raising money’ to fund those vaccinations when all you’re actually doing is creating an expense and raising your own celebrity profile.. Given the fact that ‘ya’ll’ appear to be from the Southern states of America, you may have missed all the fanfare and hype these shitty celebrities stirred up about it. Had you been a witness you’d probably have been of the opinion that I’m not so much as ‘nasty’ but well justified in my rant.

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