Archive for April, 2009

Warning: Pastey White Skin To Be Shown

sunny-dayThe coming summer is ‘odds on for a barbecue summer’, according to long-range forecasts. Summer temperatures across the UK are likely to be warmer than average and rainfall near or below average for the three months of summer.

Chief Meteorologist at the Met Office, Ewen McCallum, said: “After two disappointingly-wet summers, the signs are much more promising this year. We can expect times when temperatures will be above 30 °C, something we hardly saw at all last year.”

Although the forecast is for a drier and warmer summer than average that does not mean that we will not get some heavy downpours at times. However, a repeat of the wet summers of 2007 and 2008 is unlikely.

It’s hard to blog when you’ve got your own carnival party congo train kicking and punching your way in sheer delight around the living room. Still as reliable as the British weather is, I shouldn’t get my hopes up until I can feel the skin cancer forming. And Gordon Brown will probably ruin it somehow anyway.

Comments (2)

Dental Sedation

sedationI have no shame admitting I’m a big stupid gaybar when it comes to visiting the dentist. Funnily enough I don’t like someone holding drills and other spikey metal tools in my mouth where I can’t pull my head any futher away. That horrible surprise shock when they pick away at something on your tooth and then hit a nerve or a sensitive patch is more than enough to keep me away from the dentist altogether – which is exactly what I did for years until I found dental sedation. After all you’re looking at someone who can’t bare the imminent ‘pop’ compressed cans of American biscuits make when you peel back the cardboard rip strip. I’m a tad jumpy.

Yesterday I went to the dentist to have two fillings done. I went in, sat in the chair and received a small injection in the tender crook of my elbow. As the dentist released the elastic from around my bicep the meds roared into my veins causing the ceiling to fizzle like it was a dream. And then there was black. Although I think I was already gone before the black turned up because I actually don’t remember a definitive point between ‘fizzling ceiling’ and ‘out like a light’.

As I came to I found myself back home laying on the sofa with Wil standing nearby asking me if I wanted anything to eat. I was able to piece little bits of the day between 2pm and 6pm together with snap shot memories that appeared in my head as though I’d been standing in a pitch dark room seeing a different scene each time someone flipped a light switch on and off abruptly.

There was the bit where I got the injection whilst laying in the chair, the bit where people were holding both of my arms to support me walking towards the door of the dentist’s room. The bit where the dental assistant stopped me from falling forwards out of a chair in the waiting room while waiting for Wil to bring the car. I remember Wil walking through the door apologising for taking so long and I have a snippet picture in my head of the car seat as he helped me sit in it.

The next thing I remember was after the 30 minute drive home as we pulled into our driveway and then being led across our living room to lay on the sofa where I awoke some time later.

Wil filled in the gaps for me – the bit where the dentist said they had to drill so deep on one tooth that I may end up having a root canal done if it becomes painful. The reason Wil had been so long to get the car was because he had to go around Colchester town on the one-way system in hellish traffic and the part where I got in the car, called Wil by the name of an ex-boyfriend and then told him the ‘dials’ in the car were all wrong. Poor man, yet, as always he looked after me so fabulously well!

For a treatment that claims you stay awake and able to comply with the dentist the whole time I’m mighty impressed because if I was compliant and not just a big lifeless farting, belching lump of human, dribbling down my front in a dental chair it’s news to me. It’s the second time I’ve had dental sedation and the second time I’ve sworn I’ll never undergo the drill without it ever again. Infact, I enjoyed it so much I nearly can’t wait for the next cavities to form so I can go back for more.

Comments (6)

Naked Lady On A Bike

picture-4This is good fun.. my favourite has to be ‘BUM’. Clicky and have a go!

Leave a Comment

Wishing Nasty Things On Shitty People

damage_01 To the useless, society spongeing cretin that tried to steal my Little Brothers motorbike and didn’t succeed because he secured it with something that couldn’t be snipped with some wire cutters and so out of a cruel act of spitefullness because you couldn’t get your way you decided to cut every visible pipe in the engine in a destructive act of vandelism.

I hope you get bollock cancer which manifests itself in tumours and legions that burst open and weep a foul smelling green puss which make your pants stick to the delicate skin so that every time you have to pull your underwear down to go for a piss it rips chunks of flesh off.

I also hope that around this time the NHS goes broke so you can’t get treatment.

However, they find a free cure.

But it involves dousing your nether regions in petrol and setting fire to them.

And then there is a petrol shortage.

But suddenly in a turn of luck the shortage becomes an overstock.

But my Little Brother owns the only box of matches.

Comments (3)

Is It Fun Yet?

sg1s0620That was a shitty week. It started off with Napoleon the Clownfish getting sick and dying before I could blink. Then Tina the Clownfish went down with something equally as horrid which began eating away at her body. I had to scramble around every available fish shop in the area to gather different treatments and medicines and just in the nick of time I managed to get together a quarantine tank to put Tina in for treatment. But just before I did that I had to give her that awful freshwater dip..It was not the highlight of my life.

In the meantime Rossi the Watchman Goby fish disappeared in the main tank. Two days later I still hadn’t seen him and he wasn’t even getting tempted out with Brine Shrimp. Nothing gets in the way of Rossi and Brine Shrimp.

As I was checking around every available hideaway spot in the tank I found Rossi’s partner, Valentino the Pistol Shrimp squeezed into an odd place at the side of the tank, under some rock. It’s not like those two to be sat in different places so the doom immediately set in that Rossi must have met the same demise that Napoleon did. I had to move a few pieces of rock about to have a good look and that’s when I accidentally smashed one of my Turbo Snails between a piece of live rock and the tank glass. I think I have one left out of the six I bought. Fortunately I caught sight of Rossi today so he’s alive at least.

Because the emergency quarantine tank wasn’t established it hadn’t cycled. Despite using water and filter media from the main tank in a small canister filter the bacteria killing medicine finished off the bacteria and then the ammonia began to creep up. Ammonia can be deadly for fish, so daily 50% water changes have been the order of the day, every day. That means filling a container with RO water, mixing in the salt and aerating it with an air stone to reach the correct PH and heating it to the right temperature. Then removing half the water in the quarantine tank and replacing it with the fresh water. The daily testing of water parameters have made more than one room in our house look like a chemistry lab.

All, as Wil pointed out, for a £20 fish!

It wouldn’t be so bad if it hadn’t been a £20 fish that was at some point in it’s earlier life, swimming happily around the Great Barrier Reef minding it’s own business until it got captured, shipped and dumped from tank to tank until it ended up with some flesh eating disease in my little Nano Tank in Sunny Suffolk. At the very least I owe it a happy life.

To top it all off Wil then spent all weekend in bed with a migraine and I had a dentist appointment yesterday where I found out I have two fillings to be done.

I just don’t know if I can stand the pace of the excitement around here. At this rate I might start sticking needles in my face for some light entertainment.

Comments (3)

Recuperating In The Polyps

What a horrid week. Last week I noticed some greyish patches on Tina’s (pictured left) tail. She was swimming around, eating well and diving in and out of her favourite clump of Orange Button Polyps so I didn’t think too much of it. Infact in the beginning I couldn’t actually tell properly if they were greyish patches or just the light reflecting oddly. When the lights in the tank were turned off and the natural daying shone through the water you could clearly make out some dark patches through the white band on her tail.

Napoleon (the smaller baby Clown) was fine. Happy as larry he followed Tina around mimicking her every move. Napoleon, being a tank bred Percula didn’t have a clue how to act like a Clownfish until I got Tina who turned out to be a wild caught fish. I didn’t realise this at the time I chose her and after the guy at the fish shop had just spent 15-20 minutes trying to net her out of the tank I didn’t have the heart for him or her to not take her. Better she live happy in my tank than in a store or worse, in some kids chintzy plastic aquarium with a name like ‘Nemo’.

On Saturday I noticed Napoleon’s tail had a little split in it. This definitely confirmed there was something up. Usually bacterial/fungal infections that cause fins to split are related to poor water quality but I change 10% of my water weekly without fail and test the water parameters for Ammonia, Nitrite, Nitrate, PH, Phosphate, metals and salinity at least weekly too so I knew I didn’t have poor water. Despite this I carried out an impromptu water change just incase I was missing something. On Monday nothing had changed for the worse so I assumed the water change had helped and planned to do another the following day.

Then it all happened very quickly – On Tuesday a chunk of Napoleons tail was missing although he was otherwise healthy and lively and still eating like a pig. I took some advice from a forum throughout the day and tried researching on the net as much as I could. Word from the forum was that it could be Brooklynella, aka ‘Clownfish’ disease which can rapidly kill the fish in hours. I didn’t altogether agree with this because most of the diagnosis didn’t match what my two fish were displaying but pictures and descriptions of other bacterial infections did. Not to mention Tina had been going around with these patches for a week with no problems.  On Wednesday morning they both still looked lively, just a few grey patches around their tails and backs but Napoleon was missing more of his tail.  Without a quarantine tank to move the fish to I took advice from the forum and on Wednesday afternoon I returned home from work with Melafix, an all natural tea tree based meds good for infections.  However Napoleon was not looking good. During the day he had taken a massive downturn and was now at the surface getting pushed around by the current of the filter inlet. Although he could still swim he appeared to weaken quickly and let the water carry him briefly.

Fearing I’d already left it too long I dosed the tank with the meds I’d picked up that day and then watched as about an hour later Napoleon, who was now supported in a net at the surface took his last breath, twitched a couple of times and then lay dead..  Little Clownfish never made it any bigger than an inch long.

I went and picked up some serious meds for a variety of different ailments including Brooklynella. Yesterday when I returned from work I noticed that whatever it was attacking Tina’s tail was now visible to the eye and was moving and pulsing on her tail. Since the two doses of  Melafix had not had any noticeable effect on Tina we removed her from the tank and proceeded to carry out a ‘dip’ treatment whereby we placed her in a bowl of RO water at the right temp and PH mixed with medicine and then another dip of the same but without the medicine.

Dipping a marine fish in to freshwater with no salt and a dose of Formaldehyde and copper in it is one of the most horrid things I’ve ever had to do. Given the danger of doing such a thing you have to monitor the fish closely – all the time watching it’s gills to judge it’s reaction.

15 minutes is a hellishly long time when you’re staring at a beautiful little fish who is floating motionlessly in a bowl of poison, panicking, flipping about, breathing rapidly and then nearly not at all. I had to keep reminding myself that if I’d done this with Napoleon he might have had a chance and that if I wasn’t doing this now with Tina in another day she’d be dead anyway. This torture meant 50% chance of survival at least.

She lasted 10 minutes before I felt she was so close to stopping breathing altogether that I put her back in the main tank. It took her about an hour before she finally came round from the trauma properly and I didn’t expect to see her alive this morning.

An examination of the bowl found the thing that had been moving on her tail. Unfortunately it’s probably not the last of the problem. Parasites like this have different forms through their cycle which means while you can kill an adult you won’t necessarily have killed the spores that could be ready to hatch at the bottom of the tank.

This morning she’s alive, I won’t say ‘well’. She’s wedged herself in her Button Polyps but whenever I get near the tank she disappears through the cave in the rocks to hide at the back.

Today I’m going to set up a quarantine tank in preparation for the unknown that’s bound to hit this week.

Comments (1)

Peace Shattered

Do you see the time of this post? It should say 06:43AM. That’s right, not the crack of dawn but the crack of MY dawn in where I enjoy an hour of peace and quiet from about 06:30 onwards before any other noisy bugger that gets up. Except this morning Wil has already got up and called his mother at her sisters in Lincoln to wish her happy birthday.

Now the room is filled with EXTREMELY LOUD OVER HYPED CONVERSATION AS THOUGH THEY WERE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE VIA THE MEDIUM OF POLYSTYRENE CUPS AND A PIECE OF STRING. Using comments like ‘OH EYE’ and ‘BAH, THAT’S A GOODEN’ repeatedly, loudly and with a very emphasised midland accent that I never hear from Wil unless he’s on the phone to a family member. This is what people from north of the Watford gap seem to do when communicating with eachother – SHOUT…IS IT BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL YEARS BEHIND IN RECEIVING MODERN TELECOMS up there in the dark ages?

Apparently a weekend visit is imminent and we’re going to be ‘sortin’ soomats out’.

‘We’ or ‘Ren’?

Comments (2)

Older Posts »