If Life Was A Dryer, I’d Be Stuck In The Lint Trap

Uh.. feeling weird these days. Dwelling on things a lot, I don’t know why.  I started going through old photos the other night (a continuation of my closet clear out) and I got warped back several years. As great as those old photos are seeing yourself grow old does nothing for your self-confidence. Suddenly it feels overwhelming because there’s nothing you can do to get back to that time and do something differently. As fantastic as my surroundings are I feel like I’m not making the most of things – possessions whilst giving me kicks do not fulfill something much deeper.

It feels like what I enjoy is forever just out of my grasp.. I’ve spent nearly a year now with niggling sports injuries and lets face it, I can do without the sodding hurdles – keeping motivated and fit is hard enough the older you get without a virtual spike strip being thrown across your path every time you move.

Still it’s not the first time I’ve been here.. I guess everyone visits here from time to time. It’s a bit like a trial run mid-life crisis. Where’s my sports car?

Off to Thetford today for a meeting. No idea where I’m going, I’ll leave half hour early so I have time to get lost. Feels wrong to go to Thetford without my Mountain Bike in the back of the car – I’ve missed a trick here, why didn’t I book the afternoon off?

Something I heard on the news this morning wound me up. I laid in bed, alone and actually swore out loud. Apparently more teens are getting in cars without insurance because it’s become too expensive. “You fuckers” I breathed, still laying with my eyes shut. How can you be so angry when you wake up in the morning? Normally Chris Moyles takes care of that for the first 5 minutes that I allow the radio to play with him on it. But he’s off this week – Scott Mills is great. New’s reports are not.

But yeah, WHAT? It’s become too expensive to pay for insurance, so you get in a car without it?. Ok – how did you afford the car? The MOT, The TAX? IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT WHY DO YOU HAVE IT?

I’m going to say something old people say here but ‘in my day’ being able to afford to run the bastard thing was a pre-cursor to whether you bought a car or not.

My mum bought me driving lessons for my birthday – when I failed the test, I paid for the next one myself. When I passed I bought my car MYSELF and when I asked Mum if she could help me pay for the insurance she told me ‘No’ and rightly so because that was a valid lesson I needed to learn right from the start. Once I’d learned the value of forking out for things out of my pocket she always helped me if I needed it. But by that time I’d also learnt a bit of pride so she’d have to offer help, I wouldn’t ask. I appreciate that now.

So yeah – I digress. Point is – glum and whingey.

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