A Quickie From The Hotel Lobby

Incase youve been on Mars, Wil and I have come to Oslo, Norway to celebrate his 30th birthday over a long weekend.

Thursday night we drove to the hotel at the airport. Despite having found a great deal at a hotel next to the airport, their website neglected to tell us we would have to shell out 10 quid (where is the pound sign on a Norwegian keyboard?) for parking. Room and sleep great, left it a bit late leaving.

At the airport we pull into the long stay carpark. Id already prepaid for parking online in order to save a bit of money. Not sure we pulled into the right place, if I have to pay again and lose the money I already paid out Ill be cross. Ran from our car to the shuttle bus just as it was pulling away. Forgot to take note of what section we left our car in. Carpark roulette on the return then!

Airport was rammed. Wil found out where we were going after I walked him around Air Iceland, Virgin and several other desks before standing in the line at the Norwegian Airlines. He was made up.
Something to do with there not being any checked baggage claimed on our tickets meant they made us pay 10 quid to check the sodding bag. We pulled that out of our arses and went off to wait in with the huddled masses yearning to breathe free in security. We joined the line at 0810, our flight was at 0840. At 0846 we left the line and ran like our asses were on fire to get to the gate in hopes the plane would be waiting for us!We were stopped dead as we approached a screen stating our flight had been delayed until 10am. Sigh of relief.

Got on the plane and got sat in between screaming kids and snot hacking fucktard who must have unloaded every germ in the book into the back of my hair. I hate him. Got off the place without having contracted the Aids.

The limo I had booked to take us from the airport to the hotel was not in the arrivals lounge holding a sign with our name on despite my having called to tell them the new flight time. I called the organiser and they told me to go to the taxi desk and there would be someone waiting for me there. There was and he led us straight outside to a dingey taxi cab. Not quite the glamour I thought Id paid for. On the way to the hotel he stopped for a shit at a garage. I shit you not! We sat in the car in disbelief. He spent the rest of the trip on his mobile phone handsfree talking crap with mates and at one point he got himself and someone else into a conference call! Surreal.

We arrived at the hotel which was finally everything Id hoped. The room was the same as the photo and we have a fantastic view. The bed literally swallows you up and after a great evening at a spa where we both got massaged and a gorgeous meal of sushi, that bed swallowed us both whole.

Until 0245am when we were rudely awoken by the hotel fire alarm. After sitting bolt upright thinking, “its a drill, itll go off in a mo” it didnt and we began hearing sirens from the street below. We jumped up, got dressed and bolted down the 7 floors of stairs along with masses of other bleary eyed travellers. As we gathered on the street the firemen piled into the building.

We think the coffee shop grill place next to the hotel had raised the alarm but all was ok and we were allowed to return to bed.

What a day!

Today we visited sites and shopped till we dropped. Oslo is a great place and the people are great. Ive never known people to be so happy to live where they live.

Right, I only popped down to the lobby for a coffee… Wil will be wondering where Ive gone! See you all soon..


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