iReinvention Of The Wheel… perhaps?



I love Apple, I think my MacBook is great. In terms of operating systems I’d take MAC OSX over Windows any day. Apple know how make things that flow nicely, that work how you want them to work, how you’d instinctively try to make something work if you didn’t know how it worked in the first place. They’re good, there’s no getting away from it. But I can’t help but feel incredulous at their latest effort, the Wheel. NO, sorry, I mean the iPad.

Wil is immediately going to think I’m having a dig at him here because he lives with the self-inflicted paranoia that I hate anything he likes and he likes the iPad. We do have quite different tastes but Wil is very partial to jumping on the Next-Coolest-Thing bandwagon only to buy said ‘Next-Coolest-Thing’ and then rapidly lose interest after 5 minutes of owning it.

In actual fact if you studied Wil carefully you’d come to the conclusion that Wil doesn’t actually like the ‘Next-Coolest-Thing’ as much as he enjoys ‘just wanting it’ or being part of that crowd of people who want it. Wil isn’t a techie minded person, there is no inner geek in that body – it simply cycles in well trodden familiar circles encompassing cars, bikes, eating, sleeping and the part where his 8th magazine of the month gets read cover to cover before being dumped on the floor along with the empty toilet roll. Rinse and repeat.

The lack of nerdiness in him actually pointed and laughed at me once upon finding out I knew the name of Nokia’s operating system at the time – Symbian 9 and I still get the odd Alan Partridge style ‘AAAHHHHH Symbian 9′ shouted at me across the room if I show the slightest enjoyment in something geeky like being able to text our Sky box to record a program from my mobile phone. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. However, nerdy gadget or not I generally shy away from wanting something that everyone has until it’s popularity has dropped.. goes along with being bloody awkward and as Wil would say – a bit Ginger.

So forgive my naivety here – iPad – They took an iPod and made it bigger?. Took a MacBook and made it smaller?. Took an iPhone and gave it less functionality with a bigger bastard screen all the better to knock against those keys in your bag?.

BUT THAT’S OK!!! Because guess what?….. YOU CAN BROWSE THE NET ON IT!.. oh.. um HANG ON, YOU, YOU CAN VIEW PHOTOS ON IT….eerrr, yeah um – HERE WE GO, YOU CAN WATCH YOUTUBE. Damn… Ummmmm? Type emails?, read ebooks? Use Apps? RECURRING THEME HERE? Listen to music?…. Whatever next eh? I’m amazed they didn’t put a nice big antennae on the top to pull up in order to get better reception and maybe a slot in the side in which I can listen to my cassette mix tapes through my wired headphones. Or instead just put a massive subwoofer on it so that I could carry it on my shoulder to hear my phat choons. Corr, the future just gets brighter – perhaps next they could install a large spiral corded handset with some buttons on it that I could dial someones phone number – a phone number that I have written down in a paper pad, stuck to the back. Oh. Hang. ON… get this… a pad made from small yellow square bits of paper that have a slightly sticky strip across the top!!! YOU GET ME? We’ll call them iStick’ems, and yeah anyway, dial a phone number and order a pizza and pay with a fricken CHEQUE. For the love of GOD….





PEOPLE?   iPad….

Two words – ‘Emperors New Clothes’.

You’re right, that was three words, but you see what I did there? It’s not 3 anymore because we’re calling that two from now on, three can become eight – it’s cool right? Come on everyone join in.. Tell you what, you call number 2, ‘three’ and I’ll charge you £500 for the pleasure.  What? You think it’s stupid? How? Why? I see..right… works better if I stick an ‘i’ in front of it..

Seriously, iGiveup.



  1. mrs hojo said

    hee hee worth waiting for :o)


    (says she who can’t even kindle coz it doesn’t work in OZ)
    (nor does DAB)
    (nor g3 where I live)
    (spot the theme)

  2. urbanvox said

    I really really wanted the iPad… but now… after reading your post… maybe iGiveup too… LOL!

  3. Vic said

    iWin in that case – I’ve been telling urbanvox for days that the iPad just isn’t worth it.

    • urbanvox said

      aaahhhh… but I haven’t been 100% convinced YET! 😉

      • Foxsden said

        Vic, there’s just no helping some people….

        Vox – have you ever bought sand from a man in the desert because they described it as MaGiKDusT?

  4. Sarah said

    As far as I can see, it’s an oversized ipod touch, that won’t fit in your pocket and still won’t do two things at once.

    However, I think the idea is sound. It just needs a few more versions to see if it becomes what it could be.

    Of course quite a lot of early adopters will have to fall for it first. And I think we can be damn sure it won’t be on sale for the equivalent of 400USD here.

  5. Mrs BN said

    I just think it looks bizarre – it’s a huge iphone ffs. I mean why?

    Don’t get it. I’m with you!

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