Having A Whale Of A Time

See.. this is why I don’t DO NEWS! I don’t know what to be more ranty about this week. The fact that it’s national (and probably international) news that Cheryl Cole has finally discovered a brain cell and decided that before she lets that pathetic overpaid, slimy sleeze bag of a *husband* degrade her any further by continuing extra curricular filth with other brain dead ho bags, she better dump him.

Or

SURPRISE!

Killer Whale Kills Trainer.

Is it just me or is the CLUE in the freakin’ name?

Ok, I know Killer Whales are not named after a violent tendancy to fatally attack humans but for crying out loud ‘Tilikum’ already had two other human slayings beyond it’s toothy grin. It wasn’t a case of ‘if’ but ‘when’ the next person was going to get it. Wild animals are just that, WILD.

I’m not dismissing the death of this woman as a tragic a shame, but it’s a tragic shame that we shouldn’t be squealing crap like ‘OMG How did this happen?’ or ‘Why did this whale do that? at.  If I went and threw myself off a cliff and died – it’s going to take a properly stupid sod to shout ‘WHO PUT THAT CLIFF THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?’  Is that relevant? I don’t know – I’m in rant mode so none of it makes sense anyway. Ask me one on sport.

A 12,000lb creature shouldn’t be kept in a small pool or holding tank when, in natural surroundings they’d have the entire sea to roam.  And if you’re careless enough to plop them into these surroundings to make a regular mockery of them by standing on their face and back like a surf board whilst they throw you around for an audience to watch at an extortionate price. Well, expect them to lash out and recharge that cost at some point. If 3 killings over 30 years is all you’ve had to endure, then I’d say you’ve been bloody well blessed.

Reports that I’ve heard and seen so far can’t even get the simplest of facts straight like whether Dawn Brancheau slipped and fell into the pool, was snatched around the waist, pulled in by the arm or whether the Serial Killer Fish dragged her in to her watery death by her ponytail.

Graciously Sea World has announced they won’t be putting the 30 year old whale to death. Well that’s bloody decent of them. What the hell do people think of even asking that question? Wild animal acts naturally, WE’RE NOT HAVING THAT – SHOOT THE BASTARD!

Either way, it’s OK everyone, move along, nothing to see here. Because, <insert standard media smooth-it-over-cliche-phrase here>THEY’RE “REVIEWING THEIR PROCEDURES”.

PHEW! Panic over. There we were mulling over selling Shamu off to the Chinese Takeaway for whale soup but it’s ok – we just need to make sure that the procedures are spot on.

What procedure might that be? The one to replace the Killer Whales with safer inflatable versions or one that suggests only hiring trainers with short hair and no arms?

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2 Comments »

  1. mrs hojo said

    wlecome back :o) couldn’t agree more, poor old ‘shamu’ has been working since what, the 80’s? must be due for long service leave by now anyway.

    xc

  2. Vic said

    Madness really.

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