Posts Tagged Kids

Raising A Good’n

Cameron handed me the lunch menu from school with an air of disdane. ‘Look at this’ he gasped.. ‘It all looks good on paper but when you actually get there to choose it’s all a load of turd”.

I took the menu and browsed the items listed. “Wow it does all look good on here.. so it’s not much cop then?”

“No”, he replied, “it’s just a load of grumpy middle aged wife women standing around with a basket of grotty baguettes”.

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As Always The Boy Attracts The Girls

You distract him Wendy and Ill grab his boxer elastic

"You distract him Wendy and I'll grab his boxer elastic"

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Now You’re Stuck!

nowyourestuckWil went for a ‘sit down’ and found this cheeky pun hanging on the roll waiting for a victim… I just don’t want to think too much about the circumstances surrounding Cameron running out of toilet paper and smudging his way to the kitchen to get the marker pen.

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Halloween Photos

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Kids These Days

Camerons bedroom is a heap. There isn’t even a path from the door to the bed so when he announced he was off out to play I reacted with ‘yeah, after you clear that bomb site up’.

He promptly ran upstairs and did his usual token effort of shoving everything under the bed and in piles in the corners and declared the job done. As I entered the room and began pointing out all the bits he missed, his friend H came to the door to call for him.

Cam let his friend in and when they returned to the bedroom I left stating that since H is a very tidy boy maybe if Cam was to ask nicely H would help show him how it’s done.

As I returned downstairs I heard the boys chatting

Cam: ‘Since YOU’RE so tidy H’ Cam mimicked.. ‘Your bedroom is always SUPER tidy though H’

H: ‘Yeah well, that’s cos my mum tidies it up!’

Marvellous….!  Do kids do anything for themselves? Shouldn’t kids be brought up to clear up their own mess?

Twice a year while Cam is away in the states I go into his room and do a mass clear out but that’s only so I can get in there and get rid of all the tat he won’t get rid of when he’s here! I wouldn’t dream of tidying his room on a daily or weekly basis.

You create the mess, you clear it up!

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Bleugh! Disease Bag

Oh it’s so great to have the little disease bag home. One week is all it took for the boy to return to school and collect a cold virus from the rest of the little grubsters.

I’ve already had 5 out of the 6 colds he suffered between Christmas and July and with a duathlon coming up this weekend the last thing I need is to get ill.

I’m not really one for taking vitamins and medicines when it comes to colds because they’ll turn up and go when they’re ready regardless of what you do but Cam and I have always been very susceptible to colds and coughs. All the running and cycling I’ve been doing lately will have given my immune system a battering and knowing it’d be a matter of time before the boy arrived back home with his usual germ party in full swing I stopped by Asda one evening and stocked up on all things cold preventative. This time I’m not going down without a fight.

This morning I woke up listening to him repeatedly drawing in lloooooonnnnnggggg stuffy snorts through his swollen nostrils. He then padded back and fourth to the bathroom, yanking arm lengths of toilet paper off the roll to screw into a small ball which got passed once across the end of of his nose before being discarded into the toilet. Then snorted his way back to bed.

I knew it wouldn’t be long after he’d gone back to school that I’d be dealing with an enslaught of cold germs and virus’. So I had fully prepared myself with alcohol handrub, Vicks ‘FIRST DEFENCE’ nasal spray and one-a-day Seven Seas Multiprobionta ‘Immune Defence’ vitamins which I began taking a good week or two before he got back from the states. With the sudden threat of germ infested kid in the confines of my home this morning I dug straight into my handbag and attempted to use my Vicks ‘FIRST DEFENCE’ nasal spray.

The Instructions called for 2 or 3 sprays up each nostril 3 or 4 times per day. Then you’re not supposed to blow your nose.

GET AWAY!

Because at the first tiny puff of that toxic concentrated hospital smelling liquid hitting the top of my nasal cavity I thought my brain was going to try and punch it’s way out of my forehead. I’ve never done coke, but if people doing it on tv is anything like reality these two substances seem to provoke the same initial reaction. Which was to grab my nose and squeeze it while my eyes proceed to water and sting. At the same time my brain was looking for a sharp exit while I accompanied the whole ugly scene by growling a noise sounding like ‘GAAAHH’.

The sting subsided, the stink remained and not being able to stand it another second, I blew my nose.
Now I’m relying solely on alcohol hand cleanser, Multiprobionta ‘Immune Defence’ vitamins, lots of water, plenty of sleep and huge doses of luck. If I’m feeling generous I won’t make the boy remove all his clothing in the entrance hall and swab down with alcohol hand rub upon his return from school every day.

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There’s No ‘i’ In Team But There Is In WINNER!

Winner!

Funny because when I wrote that heading I inadvertantly put dropped one of the ‘n’s which made it read ‘winer’ which also would have been an appropriate topic about Cam.

However, I’m not going to pee on the boys chips today because he won best Desert On A Plate and I’m dead pleased for him.

Well done blonde!

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