Posts Tagged stupid people

PMS Has A Lot To Answer For

pms1I’ve been a bit of a bastard today. It all started so well where I woke up early and felt awake. The house was lovely and warm so I didn’t get grumpy getting showered and dressed in the cold and I even convinced myself to bike to work since it looked a nice morning.

Deciding IN THE MORNING to bike to work is never a good idea because if I haven’t got crap organised the night before you can count on it being a real cluster-f*ck trying to find stuff I need. As it turned out I only needed to return to the house from the garage 4 times to collect bits and pieces. What did nearly taint the morning is that my rear red flashing light had disappeared from my seat post. I was sure I’d left it on the bike but thought perhaps I’d taken it in the house with me last time I rode. Riding home without this light was not an option so if I couldn’t find it, biking was not going to be an option. I searched all over the place letting myself back in the house twice to check in different places I’d normally keep the light. Nowhere to be found.

Just as I gave up and shoved my bike back in the garage I caught sight of my light – AFFIXED TO WIL’S BIKE. The amount of times I’ve come to my bike to find it missing parts like PEDALS, LIGHTS and WHEELS – yes, he’s even pikey’d the sodding wheels out of my bike at one point, I couldn’t believe I didn’t think to look there first. (For the record William – I’m SO on Cameron’s side next time he’s nicked your stuff and left it in his room)

Ready to spit fire I grabbed my light, affixed it to my bike and stormed off down the road. Fortunately the magic of riding to work did it’s job and by the time I got there I was in a great mood.

The ride home in the winter is never as great as the ride in – usually it’s colder, it’s always darker and my legs have the remnants of the morning ride still in them. It’s also subtly uphill most of the way. So when I came flying down the final decline which I use to give me a boost sprint for the home stretch, reaching a speed of 30mph you can imagine how bloody inconvenient it was when one of the cars that had just passed me got just around the corner out of sight and appeared to be indicating to turn into a driveway – only it didn’t – it stopped dead just before the driveway.

Whilst cycling in the pitch darkness it’s a little difficult to assess the speed of a vehicle in front of you which explained my screeching halt inches from the car bumper since I’d figured she was pulling into the driveway. Moving to the side of the car I shouted at the window – “what the hell are you doing?” The woman inside the car wound the window down, stared at me blankly and replied in an arsey tone “can’t you see I’ve got my indicator on?”. “Yes” I replied, “but if you were going to stop so soon, why overtake me in the first place?”. The woman just stared at me, someone else in the car didn’t say anything. I pulled my pedal back around and blasted “use some common sense next time” and cycled off with a scowl.

That’s when I wondered – Had she actually been one of the cars that’d passed me just before the bend or had she been stopped there the whole time? Maybe she’d broken down..

I felt like such an arsehole. And then I thought – WELL she should have had her hazards on if she was stopped there and not turning! Who indicates left and stops just short of a left turn IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKIN COUNTRY IN A 60MPH ZONE IN THE DARK? Answer is no one, unless they’re looking for a lambasting from an out of breath, red faced, angry PMS’ing ginger.

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Not Healthy OR Safe

I’ve been trying not to get sweary. But I FUCKING hate health and safety wankers and everything they stand for. I’m sure at some point I’ll eat my words when someone points me out to be contradicting myself but you know, they take this crap too far.

Apparently, to prevent Legionnaires Disease bacteria in our water at work H&S instructed the office manager to get the water hot water temperature turned up to 5 million degrees celsius. She did this, without following the second instruction which was to warn all employees so that no one scolded themselves.

What do you think I did this morning after eating my porridge at my desk?

Yep, washed up the bowl.

What do you think happened when I stuck both hands under the hot water tap?

That’s right, I threw the bowl and spoon down in the sink, shouted ‘FUCK’ loudly and jumped back in shock. After turning the tap off, without thinking I grabbed the spoon which was still sat in the bottom of the sink but instantly threw it down again because it was not unlike grabbing a spoon made of red hot glowing magma.

At this point my thumb and two fingers on my left hand were stinging so I ran them under cold water.

There were various people involved in this cluster fuck – one of whom I hold unaccountable for the situation as they’d have acted on instructions if they’d been charged with them. Another who is a completely clueless fuckwit who walks around with his head up his arse (for the particular person who I know reads my blog from work – this is not you), and the other who is a job dodging useless twit who persistantly creates a mess of their work and is bloody fortunate to have someone who is switched on to go around clearing up after them making them look rather good. If this person were a car they’d be a Rover.  Fucking crap.

I’m really fed up with this person. I took on a job from them back in April which I am still working on despite having had the 37 hour per week help of a temp to do much of it for me for the last 3 months. This person let this job get into such a bad state that it’s likely to take several more months before it’s anywhere near manageable. This is only one job out of plenty more that they’ve been responsible for so there is an entire plethora of shit out there just waiting for some other unlucky sod to sort out. There’s also a butt load of bad feeling amongst other people that work with this person but unfortunately in local government you can be a useless sack of crap and nothing ever gets done about it.

So, I’ve ranted off on a tangent. More to the point my fingers are still sore.  I’ve been able to tolerate this person’s slackness but I draw the line at getting hurt because of it. War on.

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Wild Animals Shouldn’t Be Wild

Don\'t get close, I\'ll scratch your eyes outWatch this drivel here: Video Link

The news report goes: This little kid was just standing there watching the Peacock at Oregon Zoo when the bird jumped up, grabbed his face and then let go – leaving scratches.

The zoo spokesperson said that the birds have roamed the grounds freely for decades and that it’s unusual for the birds to attack. At which point the reporter asked about 2 other attacks that happened in 2006 – both on kids.

Those times were different, he said. The first kid and the bird both went for the same sweet on the ground and the second kid had been chasing the bird to provoke it.

Mum and Dad are then interviewed and they start laying the drama down about ‘they (the zoo) knew it’d already happened so what are they going to do to stop it happening or if it happens again’ blah blah blah.

That’s right – take your kid to the ZOO, let him sit there having a stare-off with a very large pompous bird and then wonder why little Timmy gets his face kicked in. Lesson: stand back from the animals and give them space. Animals and birds in general mostly do not go out of their way to attack people unless they are protecting their young or themselves. Give them space and they’ll leave you alone!

I hear stories of this tone at work every day – letters that come in stating “I was JUST driving at 4mph when my car left the road, flipped over 15 times and threw all the brand new tyres and rims I just bought off across the field and now they need to be replaced because this is all down to the fact you just resurfaced my road and I got tar on my wheels”…

Ok- highly unlikely… just like the image we’re being fed here that little Timmy was JUST looking at the bird. Not that he was too close to it, or blocking it’s way, or wiggling his sticky grubby fingers at it or feeding his face with an icecream at the time or anything? He just stood there and this attack bird, who has no history of going for anyone before runs over to him and jumps on his face.

It pisses me off because here are people once again looking for someone else to take responsibility for them.

It’s a zoo – most of the animals are caged up – a few are left wandering around so that you don’t totally feel detached from the ambience of being around these magnificent creatures – YOU ACCEPT THAT WHEN YOU WALK IN THERE. Even family pet dogs can be unpredictable sometimes! Use some common sense and stop turning the whole show into a nannystate for god sake.

You’ll be relieved to know they sent all those other pesky Peacocks off to a ‘farm’ and it’s likely that the rest of them will follow. I’ve an idea – why don’t we shoot those bastard lions and gas the bears and duck tape those tricky bugger monkey arses up because we all know how they like to fling their excrement around. And I don’t want no monkey crap in my eyes… I might not be able to see when there’s an attack Chinchilla headed my way.

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