Archive for April, 2008

New Pages —–>

Over there in the side bar… I’ve added a way for you to email me ‘Contact Me’ and I’m also carefully choosing some old photos to put up on the ‘Blasts From The Past’ page. Keep an eye on these because if you’ve been on a night out with me at some point you may appear!

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Free Office Software

Open OfficeI found a brilliant set of programs to rival Microsoft Office Professional today and the package is FREEWARE!

Open Office is a suite of open source applications which you can use to open/edit your existing office documents as well as create new ones with all the ease and simplicity of the menus you may or may not already be familiar with from the MS packages. Open source means not only is it free but the code is available to everyone and you can contribute to how these apps are developed….(if you’re proper nerdy cool like that)

The package consists of:

Base (like Access) (Database creation and editing. Also perform queries and reports)
Calc (like Excel) (Perform calculation and manage spreadsheets)
Draw (cross between Power Point and Publisher) (Edit images, create flowcharts, plans and diagrams etc.)
Impress (like Power Point) (Create multimedia presentations)
Writer (like Word) (Create and edit documents, letters etc. supports table formatting and most media objects)

It’s available to both Mac OSX and PC.

I’m only a basic user of Word, Excel etc at home and use it for little more than the simple functions at work… in other words I’m no big Management Accountant churning out hardcore dull old intricate spreadsheets on a daily basis (like some of my friends do) so I couldn’t possibly comment on just how complex these apps will let you get. However, if you’re up for writing sweary letters to Asda because they stopped carrying your favourite non-meat chicken style pieces and would enjoy saving £100-£300 because you didn’t have to fork out to Bill Gates’ pocket, then what are you waiting for? CLICK THE LINK kids!

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I Laugh Through My Nose WAY Too Much

I can think of many ways to enjoy a free hour of my time….Sitting in the car with Wil videoing our every move with my little camera is probably not the best use of that time. However, it gave me a little insight into me whereby I learned a few things I never realised…….

An Hour In The Car from RaceFox on Vimeo.

1. I preceed far too many giggles with an annoying snort through my nose.

2. I giggle so much I make us look like we’ve been together 5 minutes, not 5 years.

3. My adams apple is a bit prominent…. should I begin worrying about my testosterone levels?

4. If Wil begins intently folding a receipt – cover your face and do not await the production of a cute origami swan.

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Brat In The Pack

St. Georges Day Parade Old Blokes with Big Instruments Salute!

Cameron joined his Cub Scout pack for the St. Georges Day Parade through Stowmarket on Sunday. Being the parental socially uninvolved Mutha I am I was unaware that this involved an afternoon in church because if I had realised that – I wouldn’t have insisted he went.

The local Scout groups all met in a car park where eventually the 100+ kids were joined by the Salvation Army band. And it was at that point I lost the plot and started in fits of laughter.

The Salvation Army are always a bunch of old blokes who appear any time one needs a small group of old blokes with a bunch of very shiny brass instruments.

On this occasion they solemnly marched around the corner to the beat of the big bass drum more like they were on their way to a funeral rather than a Sunday Parade in honor of the Patron Saint of England and part time dragon slayer.

The band stopped in front of the kids where Wil, not helping my case of uncontrollable laughter leaned towards my ear and whispered ‘it’s a face off… its going to be brass band carnage any second”.

The band turned around and led the group of scouts out of the car park and off down through the town centre. The whole lot of them had expressions on their faces as though they were being led off to the gas chambers – had I known what they knew about their impending stint in St Peters Church I would have understood. Sadly I just smiled and waved as Cameron marched by throwing us the Cubs salute looking like John Cleese in the Monty Python clip of the Ministry of Funny Walks .

“You did that” Wil whispered with faux distaste at Cams actions… Too right, I thought, at least one kid was appreciating the comedy around him.

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Skinny Chatty Frappy Latte

After sending the boy off to parade around town with the cubs for St. Georges Day we hit Tescos in Stowmarket for a coffee because we thought stumbling back from the pub to collect the boy from church might not go down too well…

Having a little coffee are you...

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A Yellow Shade of Yellow

I’ve been using my scooter to go to and from work for the last couple of days and today I stopped on my way home from work to take a few photos.

Currently most of the fields around here are planted with Rapeseed which is grown for a few reasons, a couple of which that I know of being Vegetable Oil and Animal Feeds. I also think it may be used to make BioDiesel – so I know of 3 reasons. Whatever its use I can tell you that once it has flowered it emits a heavy pungent stink that emanates through your windows, doors and air vents in the car like a waft of week old badger road kill on a warm day. It makes your nose and eyes irritated too, but hey it looks STUNNING and I didn’t mind standing there taking photos while sporting the protective bubble of my crash helmet, until I looked ahead, followed those power lines and found a big ass pylon sat right behind me just waiting to drop those cables on my head.

Honda Zoomer For god sake don\'t drop those cables The road home

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I’ve Fed And Watered It For 10 Years!

Cameron\'s 10th Birthday

Being the kind of person who was not graced with an overwhelming love for children or the skills to cope with one or more kids without swearing in their faces within seconds of being around them it came as a bit of a surprise to most people that I actually had one of my own.

Cameron arrived in the world 10 days late, just after lunch time and after a short labour. From the time the Pitocin drip decided he was making an entrance in the world to the time he appeared in the room took only 15 minutes, an event that was a walk in the park compared to the 5 months of gut wrenching projectile vomiting he put me through 4 months earlier and much easier than the barrel-load of lip he gives me these days!

However, despite on many occasions leaving him strapped in shopping trollies and car seats while I walked off forgetting my new attachment I have managed to keep ahold of the little blighter.

When you’re Cameron’s age you celebrate birthdays as being one more year closer to getting your ear pierced, learning to drive, smoking weed, getting a paper round, all things that do not require your parents permission and being able to do anything that does NOT make them say ‘while you’re living under my roof”.

I on the other hand like to celebrate his birthday as one more self-adulating triumph that I managed to keep him alive, well and growing into the handsome little man he’s becoming…. I don’t have luck like that with my plants!

Happy Birthday Blonde!

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